The Importance of Foreplay, By Ibn Qudaamah

Many husbands do not understand the importance of foreplay and tend to be intimate with their wives without fulfiling their wives’ desires to the full. This can cause much harm to the wife, and as a knock on effect, to the marriage as well.

Ibn Qudaamah said:

“It is recommended for the man to caress and fondle his wife prior to intercourse in order to arouse her so that she would get as much pleasure from intercourse as he does…

And if he climaxes before her, it would be disliked for him to pull out until she climaxes… because that would otherwise cause her harm and prevent her from fulfilling her desires.”

[Al-Mughnee, 8/136]

Having Intercourse At Night, Beating Her During The Day

As was preceded and explained by the Prophet (saw), that a husband beating and whipping his wife like a slave and then having intercourse with her in the night is amongst the reasons for corrupting her character [Tirmidhee, Ibn Hibbaan and others. Authentic]. It corrupts the character of the wife greatly. It is a contradiction. How can you beat her then seek to have intercourse with her at night? This is proof that you are not the person for such a thing and that you are contradictory because beating negates love.

And intercourse must be based upon love because it is not simply out of desires or an exchange of pleasure between the spouses. Rather, it is affection, love, and intimacy before it being sexual pleasure.

[Taken from “The Prophet (saw) At Home” by Sh. Muhammad Moosaa Nasr, p. 41]

Advice To Musilmahs Regarding Their Husbands, Part 8

She Should Not Offer Any Nafl Fasts Except With His Permission:

Proof:

Aboo Hurairah reportede that the Messenger of Allaah (saw) said:

“A woman should not fast when her husband is present except with his permission…”

Note: This applies only when he is present, if he is traveling, or is not present, then it is permissible for her to fast.

The point here is that her fast (which is optional) may cancel out some of his rights (which are fard [compulsory]), especially the right to sexual intercourse.

This right is one of her obligations, while observing a nafl fast is something that is recommended. Undoubtedly, that which is obligatory takes precedence over that which is recommended.

Maintaining Chastity Through Marriage

A man’s fulfilling his sexual desire with his wife may often happen as the result of stimulation, by looking or touching etc. Hence fulfilling his desire when it is provoked in such situations is a means of keeping himself chaste and lowering his gaze [from looking at other women].

This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us to do, according to the hadeeth narrated by Muslim (1403) from Jaabir, who says that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a woman and he came to his wife Zaynab, whilst she was tanning a skin and preparing it for dyeing, and he fulfilled his need. Then he went out to his companions and said: “Woman comes and goes in the shape of a devil [i.e., she causes temptation], so if any one of you sees a woman, let him go and have intercourse with his wife, for that will take away what he feels in his heart.”

This was also narrated by Ahmad, 19403; Ibn Maajah, 1853.

Ibn Hibbaan narrated in his Saheeh, 4171, that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘No woman fulfils all her duties towards Allaah until she fulfils all her duties towards her husband. If he asks her [for his conjugal rights] even when she is on the back of a camel, she should respond to him.’”

They Are Clothing For You And You Are Clothing For Them

Great Tafsir of one ayat in Qur’an. So many benefits arranged from one sentence of Qur’an.

Allah says: “It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the on the night of the fasts. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 187]

Allah chose to use the word “clothing” rather than any other word to describe the special relationship between a man and his wife. Allah made the man clothing for the woman and the woman clothing for the man. The word “clothing” as used in this context is rich with meaning. It would be quite difficult to express in words every subtlety that it conveys. We shall try, however, to consider a few of the ideas that this word expresses.

1. The word “clothing” in its most literal sense is what immediately covers the body with no barrier in between.

2. The word clothing connotes the idea of equality, complementarity, and support of both a psychological and physical nature. The man has his role and the woman has hers. The woman cannot be construed as merely a vehicle to fulfill the man’s desires. She is a human being, equal to the man. Each of them is as clothing to the other in every aspect of life.

3. Clothing implies adornment and beautification. Allah says: “Take your adornment to every mosque.” [Sûrah al-A`raf: 31] A man and woman are an adornment and beautification for each other.

Ibn `Abbâs said: “Indeed, I like to dress up for a woman in the same way as I like it for a woman to dress herself up for me. This is because Allah says: ‘And they have upon you similar rights to those you have upon them in good dealings.’ And I do not like to exact from her every right to which I am entitled, since Allah says: ‘and for the man there is a degree over them’.” [Tafsîr al-Tabarî (1/625)]

Some of this beauty is of a physical kind, for a person sees in the one he truly loves beauty that others do not see.

Some of this beauty is also of an intangible nature. Faithfulness and enduring friendship are a part of faith, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said.

The Marriage Contract: Its Basic Elements

By Bilal Abu Aisha

All praise is due to Allah, the Creator of our world and the laws that govern it. And Peace and blessings of Allah be upon His slave and final Messenger Muhammad (saws), the one sent to all of mankind, the one sent to guide people out from the darkness of shirk (polytheism), into the light of Tawheed (montheism).

Know dear reader that Allah (swt) has created things in pairs. Those pairs must get together in certain ways in order for reproduction to occur. The way for reproduction to occur amongst humans – males and females, is through marriage, known in Arabic as nikaah. Islam urges Muslims to marry, and prohibits pre-marital relationships. Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “Marry the unmarried among you…”1 Also, Allah’s Messenger (saws) in the hadith found in Bukhari and Muslim, commanded young people to marry, and advised those of them who could not afford it to fast as a means of controlling their sexual desire. From an Islamic perspective, marriage is not viewed merely as a means of satisfying natural desires and passions. Its goals are much deeper than just obtaining legal sex. Allah (swt) points out one of the main objectives behind marriage by saying: “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you might live with tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts (hearts)…”2

Therefore, the phenomenon of bachelorship or celibacy are UN-Islamic practices that result in devastation, effecting the Muslim community, and posing a threat to the Islamic world. What devastation? What threat on the Islamic world? The answers to these questions are found in the non-Muslim communities. Every day we hear and observe with our very eyes the perverted and sinful ways of the Kuffaar (disbelievers). These ways which they find acceptable in their societies have ultimately led to many types of diseases such as A.I.D.S, syphilis and the like, as a result of their choice to follow the unnatural way of abstaining from marriage.

The marriage contract is the formal bond that turns two individuals from strangers to husband and wife. It is the most important contract that most people execute throughout their lives. Since the marriage contract has such great significance, the deen of Islam imposes a number of guidelines that it must fulfill. Many Muslims who are engaged in pre-marital relationships hold back from having the contract executed due to their ignorance about its elements.

What Is Permissible Between Spouses When The Wife Is On Her Periods

It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several ahaadeeth about this:

1) The Prophet (saw) said, “… and do everything except for intercourse itself.” [Muslim, Aboo Daawood & Aboo ‘Auwaana]

2) On the authority of ‘Aa’ishah (ra) who said, “When we were on our periods, the Prophet (saw) used to order us to put on a waist cloth and that her husband can then lie with her.“

One time she said, “… her husband can then fondle and caress her.” [Bukhaaree, Muslim & others]

3) On the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet (saw) who said, “When the Prophet (saw) wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her private parts, and then did whatever he wanted.” [Aboo Daawood, Saheeh]

[Taken from “The Etiquettes Of Marriage” by Shaykh Al-Albaanee, p.23]