Woe To Every Unjust Husband, By Ibn ‘Uthaymeen

The Prophet (saw) said:

“The doers of justice will be on thrones of light at Allaah’s right Hand – and both of Allaah’s Hands are right Hands – those who were just in their rulings with their families, and in all that over which they were given authority.“

[Saheeh Muslim]

Allah says what can be translated as:

“Woe to Al-Mutaffififun (those who give less in measure and weight). Those who when they have to receive by measure from men demand full measure. And when they have to give by measure or weight to men give less than due. Do they not think that they will be resurrected (for reckoning). On a great day. The day when (all) mankind will stand before the Lord of the Alamin (all that exits).” [83:1-6]

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said concerning the explanation of Chapter Al-Mutaffinfin:

“Woe” The word woe is repeated in the Quran many times and according to what is most correct it is a statement of threat by which Allah threatens those whom oppose His command or indulge in what He has prohibited them from. And the prohibition is mentioned in the sentence following the threat.

Causes For Divorce That Can Be Traced Back To The Wife

(1) [This often occurs when] the woman does not fulfill her obligations in her role of taking care of the household and when she goes beyond what is in accord with her feminine nature. Woman have gone out of their houses to work and they have neglected their obligations… She neglects her responsibility with respect to her husband and does not tend to what is in his best interest and what are his needs and she furthermore does not obey him. All of these aspects and more make the husband fed up with the wife and makes him have an aversion to the hated acts that his wife is doing, Psychologically, he will always be disturbed and filled with doubts and suspicions, In fact, this will make him always be thinking about how to get out of such a married life that is disturbing and unpleasant for him.

(2) Nushooz sometimes is exhibited by the wife when she does not carry the responsibilities of married life, when she is ignorant of her rights and responsibilities towards her partner in marriage.(*1)

(3) Sometimes, before marriage, the woman has a imaginary ‘fairy tale’ or ‘romance novel’ perception of what married life is all about. This perception is very distant form the realities of life. She expects married life to be one full of roses without realising the responsibilities that a wife must perform in married life in order for her to have a prosperous marriage. This sad situation is partially because such young ladies are not brought up realizing and carrying out household and family responsibilities before marriage.

(4) Some women like to be in power and control over their marriage and the affairs of their lives. She tries to enforce her will over her husband and his relatives. It is natural for the man to reject such control. In the end, this comes back to harm the wife as she ends in failure and remorse.

The Rights Of The Husband And Wife

[The Husband’s Rights Over His Wife]

The man has the following rights over his wife: he has the right to be obeyed except for concerning something that Allaah has prohibited. he has the right to be treated in a respectable, decent and proper manner by his wife. The wife should sacrifice and give for him and protect him form annoyance and disturbances. She should please him in the manner that a wife can do.

She should keep distress and anger away from him. She should prevent those things that result in anger and dislike. She should not let the house become a living hell, wherein the husband only finds hardship and distress and does not find any happiness whatsoever.

[The Wife’s Rights Over Her Husband]

On the other hand, the wife also has some rights over her husband. These include: He must supply her with her dowry and her maintenance. He must protect her and provide for her in a way that is best for her. He must guard her from sources of displeasure. He must treat her well and not be despotic or harsh. Indeed, he must treat her in a beautiful manner, with patience, softness, kindness and forgiveness.

He should overlook lapses and not pursue her mistakes. He should not, at the first instance of a difference of opinion or problem, let his emotional excitement allow himself to destroy the close ties of marriage.

[Taken From “Marital Discord (An-Nushooz)” by Sh. Saalih Al-Sadlaan, Pp. 13-14]

Advice To Musilmahs Regarding Their Husbands, Part 9

She Should Be Grateful To Him:

Proof:

Allaah has made the husband the master and owner. Aboo Hurayrah narrated in the saheeh report that the Prophet (saw) said:

“He is not grateful towards Allaah, who is not grateful towards other people.“

[Ahmad, Aboo Daawood & At-Tirmidhee]

And a more clear cut example is the hadeeth of Asma’ Bint Yazeed who said:

“The Messenger of Allaah passed by us when we were among a group of women. He greeted us with salaam and said:

‘Beware of ingratitude towards those who do you favours.‘

We said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah (saw), what is ingratitude towards those who do us favours?‘

He said:

‘One of you may stay unmarried for a long time, living with her parents, then Allaah blesses her with a husband and blesses her with wealth and children from him. Then she becomes angry and says, ‘I have never seen anything good from you!‘.’

[Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, At-Tirmidhee & Ibn Maajah]

Advice To Musilmahs Regarding Their Husbands, Part 8

She Should Not Offer Any Nafl Fasts Except With His Permission:

Proof:

Aboo Hurairah reportede that the Messenger of Allaah (saw) said:

“A woman should not fast when her husband is present except with his permission…”

Note: This applies only when he is present, if he is traveling, or is not present, then it is permissible for her to fast.

The point here is that her fast (which is optional) may cancel out some of his rights (which are fard [compulsory]), especially the right to sexual intercourse.

This right is one of her obligations, while observing a nafl fast is something that is recommended. Undoubtedly, that which is obligatory takes precedence over that which is recommended.

Maintaining Chastity Through Marriage

A man’s fulfilling his sexual desire with his wife may often happen as the result of stimulation, by looking or touching etc. Hence fulfilling his desire when it is provoked in such situations is a means of keeping himself chaste and lowering his gaze [from looking at other women].

This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us to do, according to the hadeeth narrated by Muslim (1403) from Jaabir, who says that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a woman and he came to his wife Zaynab, whilst she was tanning a skin and preparing it for dyeing, and he fulfilled his need. Then he went out to his companions and said: “Woman comes and goes in the shape of a devil [i.e., she causes temptation], so if any one of you sees a woman, let him go and have intercourse with his wife, for that will take away what he feels in his heart.”

This was also narrated by Ahmad, 19403; Ibn Maajah, 1853.

Ibn Hibbaan narrated in his Saheeh, 4171, that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘No woman fulfils all her duties towards Allaah until she fulfils all her duties towards her husband. If he asks her [for his conjugal rights] even when she is on the back of a camel, she should respond to him.’”

Obedience To The Husband

Islam has given woman rights and imposed on her some obligations. One of the most significant rights is that of her husband over her. The husband is your Paradise or your Hellfire; that is, if you obey him you will enter Paradise, and if you disobey him you will enter Hellfire. The following are Ahaadith which order a woman to obey her husband:

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“When a woman observes her five obligatory prayers, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any gate of Paradise she wishes.”

Reported by Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzaar, Imam Ahmed Ibn Hanbal, at-Tabarani and al-Baani.

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.”

Reported by at-Tirmidhi.

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“If a husband calls his wife to his bed (to have sexual relations) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning.” In another naration “…until he is happy with her.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I should order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband.”

Reported by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibban.

When the Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam was asked which woman was best he replied,

“The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves.”

Reported by at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasa’i’ and al-Bayhaqi.

The Husband’s Rights Over His Wife

The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

al-Jassaas said: “Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.“

Ibn al-‘Arabi said: “This text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.“

These rights include:

(a) The Obligation Of Obedience

Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, “they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth.” This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)

The Wife’s Rights Over Her Husband

The wife has financial rights over her husband, which are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.

And she has non-financial rights, such as fair division between co-wives, being treated in a decent and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a harmful way by her husband.

1. Financial Rights

(a) The Mahr (dowry)

This is the money to which the wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage contract is completed or when the marriage is consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to pay to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]

The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract, and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.

The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage-contract, according to the majority of fuqahaa’; rather it is one of the consequences of the contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [al-Baqarah 2:236]

Advice To Musilm Women Regarding Their Husbands, Part 2

O women, be careful how you treat your husband, for he is your door to jannah (paradise), or the door to jahannam (hell).

And the proof for this is in the authentic hadeeth in Ahmad:

Husayn Ibn Muhsin reported from a paternal aunt of his (1) who went to the prophet (saw) concerning some need of hers, that after she has met her need, the Messenger of Allaah said to her: ”Do you have a husband?“

She said, “Yes.”

He said: ”How are you with him?“

She said, “I would do everything for him except that which I am not able to do.“

He said: ”Be careful how you are with him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.“

[Ahmad 4/341. Al-Nisaa’ee. Al-Tabaraanee. Al-Haakim 2/189 via several isnaads. Its isnaad is saheeh]