60 Ways To Please Your Darling Wifey

1 – Make her feel secure- don’t joke about divorcing her, this will put a hole in your marriage.

2 – Always greet her whenever you arrive

3 – Your wife is a fragile vessel so take care of her- In this vessel there is a lot of goodness so treat her in a gentle manner.

4 – Advice her in privacy and the best timing. Don’t advice her in the presence of others, it can be a type of humility

5 – Be generous with her

6 – Move out of your way for her, when she’s coming to sit get up and let her sit on your seat tell her: ‘here honey sit I warmed up the seat for you’

7 – Avoid anger.

8 – Look good for her and smell great.

9 – Don’t be rigid, you will broken- just because you are a man doesn’t mean you have to be harsh hearted

10 – Be a good listener

11 – Say yes for flattering and no for arguing.

12 – Call your wife with the best names she likes to hear. i.e: the prophet (Saw) used to call Aisha- A’ish!

13 – Surprise her secretly. Ex: Bring her a watermelon when it’s not the season of watermelons. Pick and choose in surprising her, be an artist in surprising her pleasantly.

14 – Preserve the tongue.

15 – Accept her shortcomings/ everyone has one.

16 – Show your appreciation to her.

100 Questions to Ask Prospective Husband/Wife

Don’t get freaked out… and please have some mercy on your prospective husband/wife, don’t ask the questions all at once. Ask 50 at a time in two different meetings. Just kidding. Enjoy!

1) What is your concept of marriage?

2) Have you been married before?

3) Are you married now?

4) What are you expectations of marriage?

5) What are your goals in life? (Long and short term)

6) Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.

7) Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.

8] Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?

9) What is the role of religion in your life now?

10) Are you a spiritual person?

11) What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?

12) What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?

13) What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?

14) Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?

15) What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?

16) What is the role of the husband?

A Mother’s Advice To Her Daughter For Marriage

‘Abd al-Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said:

‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

Is The One Who Kisses A Non-Mahram Woman Regarded As A Zaani (Fornicator Or Adulterer)?

Question:

A woman kissed me and I responded to her, and we started touching one another and kissing, but when she asked me to have intercourse with her I refused for fear of the punishment of the zaani before Allaah. Am I an adulterer because of that? I only put my fingers in .

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

What you did by kissing and touching this woman is a reprehensible haraam action from which you have to repent by regretting having done it and resolving not to go back to it. You also have to keep away from the things that lead to fitnah, such as mixing, being alone with a woman, and haraam looks. You should praise Allaah for having saved you from falling into the major sin of zina for which Allaah has issued a stern warning of punishment in this world and in the Hereafter, which includes the hadd punishment of stoning the zaani to death if he was married and giving him one hundred lashes if he is not married.

The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that zina is one of the reasons for which people will be punished in their graves, and he has told us of the horrific nature of this punishment. See the answer to question no. 8829.

How audacious this woman was when she transgressed the sacred limits set by Allaah, called you to haraam, sought evil and indulged in sin without any fear or shame. How great is the blessing of Allaah to you, that you stopped at that point; there was some trace of faith left in your heart that prevented you from committing the greater evil.

Should He Get Married Without His Father’s Approval?

QUESTION:
Is it permissible for a man to get married to a woman whose religious commitment and character he admires, even though his parents do not approve?.

ANSWER:
Praise be to Allaah.

A son is not doing wrong if he chooses a woman who is religiously committed and of good character, for this is the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with regard to marriage. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466)

There follows some advice for you and your father from Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, that has to do with your situation.

Conditional Divorce And Divorce In A State Of Extreme Anger

QUESTION:

What is the ruling on one who swears that his wife will be divorced if she does something such as severing the ties of kinship, and the husband is in a state of extreme anger at that point, and he is not in control of himself, to such an extent that he does not remember what he said?.

ANSWER:

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

A man should not use divorce every time there is an argument between him and his wife, because of the negative consequences that result from divorce. Many men take the matter of divorce lightly and every time there is an argument between them and their wives, they swear to divorce them, and every time they have a disagreement with their friends, they swear to divorce their wives, and so on. This is a kind of toying with the Book of Allaah, because the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) regarded the one who divorced his wife three times in one go as toying with the Book of Allaah. So how about one who makes divorce his habit, and every time he wants to stop his wife doing something or urge her to do something he swears that he will divorce her? Al-Nasaa’i narrated that Mahmoud ibn Labeed said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was told about a man who divorced his wife three times in one go. He got up angrily and said: “Will the Book of Allaah be toyed with when I am still among you?” A man stood up and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, shall I kill him?”

Al-Haafiz said: The men of its isnaad are thiqaat (trustworthy). End quote. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam (261).

Maintaining Chastity Through Marriage

A man’s fulfilling his sexual desire with his wife may often happen as the result of stimulation, by looking or touching etc. Hence fulfilling his desire when it is provoked in such situations is a means of keeping himself chaste and lowering his gaze [from looking at other women].

This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught us to do, according to the hadeeth narrated by Muslim (1403) from Jaabir, who says that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw a woman and he came to his wife Zaynab, whilst she was tanning a skin and preparing it for dyeing, and he fulfilled his need. Then he went out to his companions and said: “Woman comes and goes in the shape of a devil [i.e., she causes temptation], so if any one of you sees a woman, let him go and have intercourse with his wife, for that will take away what he feels in his heart.”

This was also narrated by Ahmad, 19403; Ibn Maajah, 1853.

Ibn Hibbaan narrated in his Saheeh, 4171, that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘No woman fulfils all her duties towards Allaah until she fulfils all her duties towards her husband. If he asks her [for his conjugal rights] even when she is on the back of a camel, she should respond to him.’”

How to Help Muslims Get Married: Tips For Parents And Imams

by Sound Vision Staff Writer

Sad but shocking reality: the divorce rate amongst Muslims in North America is one of the highest in the world.

According to New York-based Muslim sociologist Ilyas Ba-Yunus, Muslims in Canada and the U.S. have a divorce rate of 33 percent.

The world’s highest is the general U.S. population’s of 48.6 percent, followed by the United Kingdom’s of 36 percent.

Many assume divorce means problems began in the course of the marriage, whether it was communication breakdown or irreconcilable differences.

But there are many difficulties that lead to divorce which could have been avoided right from the beginning. This could have happened if individuals, parents, guardians and Imams had played their role right when communication between two Muslims seeking marriage began.

Below, we give you some tips and advice of what you can do:

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP:

The older woman noticed her instantly.

The twenty-something girl was an American Muslima, her white skin and Caucasian features bore testimony to that. She was perfect for her dear son Muhsin.

As she walked closer to her, she noticed the young woman talking to someone of a darker complexion.

The woman rushed up.

“Assalamu alaykum,” she said smiling at the American Muslima.

“Wa alaykum as Salaam,” replied the sister and her friend in unison, both a bit startled by the enthusiasm and ardor with which they were being greeted.

“I would like you to marry my son,” said the woman barely inches away from the American Muslima, and making no eye contact at all with her friend.

How To Make Your Wife happy?

Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

* Begin with a good greeting.

* Start with Assalamau ‘Aliaykum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du’aa for her as well.

* Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

* Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.

* Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.

* Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.

* Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc.

Friendliness and Recreation

* Spend time talking together.

* Spread to her goods news.

* Remember your good memories together.

Games and Distractions

* Joking around & having a sense of humor.

* Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.

* Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.

* Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

Assistance in the Household

* Doing what you as an individual can/like to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.

Guidelines For The Husband In Interacting With His Wife

By Dr. Marwwan Al-Qaisee for al-Asaalah Magazine

The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is composed of individuals that have permanent relations established between them. Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations.

Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations. This is such that it can be maintained in the best possible manner, and so that it can generate and produce its proper fruits. Family relations consist of the relationship between the spouses from one perspective, the relationship between the parents and the children from a second perspective, and the relationship between the children themselves from a third perspective.

Etiquettes of the husband:

1. It is not from the deficiencies, but rather from good manners, that the husband shares in the responsibility of specified matters, such as the mending of garments or what is similar to that.

2. It is appropriate for a man to not restrict himself from serving himself. This is since the wife takes care of the household affairs. So therefore, it is from good manners that the husband extend a helping hand to his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has given birth or similar to that.

3. The exemplary husband is he who cooperates with his wife by bearing good relations and showing kind manners (to her), according to the full extent of the meaning contained in these (last) two expressions. Truly, the husbands who are best at working alongside their wives are the best of mankind in the view of Islam. This good way of living between the spouses must be deeply imbedded into the daily marital life, even at the time of divorce.

4. Beware of characterizing the relationship between the spouses with over-seriousness! For indeed characterizing the family life with a militaristic nature amounts to one of the causes for failure and bad results.

5. From the kind and noble manners of the husband is that he complies and assents to the requests of his wife, so long as they are not forbidden in the Religion. And being luxurious in food, drink and clothing is at the entrance of matters forbidden in the Religion.

6. The husband should specify a time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife.